托福写作强化市公开课一等奖百校联赛获奖课件.pptx

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WRITINGGUZHENGBETTY_KOOLIVE.COM第1页综合写作独立写作形式时间字数题材reading+listening+writing20min180-225academicwriting30min400non-academic第2页题型讲解综合写作独立写作第3页第4页第5页综合写作第6页第7页近年来，韩剧风靡大江南北，尤其在女性观众中大受欢迎。然而，看韩剧对女性智商，情商，以及家庭生活来说坏处很多。第一.女性过多看韩剧会造成智商下降。因为韩剧大多叙事简单，观看起来并不需要动脑子。很多结局在始就能够猜测到。长久看韩剧造成女性脑子惰性增长，懒于思索，智商降低。第二.女性看韩剧同时会影响情商。因为韩剧女主角大多以犯而受到男主角喜爱，从而得到完美爱情。女性观看之后会犯二始模仿，因而在现实生活中格格不入，人际交往受挫。第三.观看韩剧还是有害夫妻感情。有很多家庭中因为女方看韩剧而造成矛盾，这些女性用韩剧中不现实爱情观要求男性，还有要求丈夫整容成男主角样子，造成感情破裂。第8页第9页头段-ThesisStatement分论点1-subpoint1分论点2-subpoint2分论点3-subpoint3第10页第11页READINGLISTENING总论点韩剧有害韩剧没害分论点1女性过多看韩剧会导看韩剧不会造成智商致智商下降下降分论点2女性看韩剧会同时影响情商不会影响情商分论点3观看韩剧还是有害夫观看韩剧不会损害夫妻感情妻感情第12页独立写作第13页第14页Doyouagreeordisagreewiththefollowingstatement?Parentsarethebestteachers.Usespecificreasonsandexamplestosupportyouranswer.第15页Itisimportantforfamilieshavemealstogetherregularly.Technologymakespeopleslivessimplerratherthanmakespeopleslivesmorecomplicated.Theenvironmentalissueistoocomplextobesolvedbytheindividuals.第16页头段分论点1分论点2结尾段第17页Youngpeopletodayaremorelikelytohelpothersthanyoungpeopleinthepast.Theworldisrapidlydeveloping;andcorrespondingly,peopleareprogressinggenerationaftergeneration.Currently,theyoungpeoplehavebroaderhorizon,moreenrichedknowledgeandgreaterambitionthantheirpredecessorshad;butunfortunately,theyarealsogrowingmoreindifferenttowardothersthanthepeopleinthepast.Tobeginwith,thecurrentgenerationofyoungpeopleisevenbusierthanonecouldimagine,whichleavesthemlittletimetohelpothersout.WhenIwasinhighschool,mygreatestfriendSophiahadahardtimedealingwithhermathematics,whichIhappenedtobeproficientin.AsmuchasIwantedtohelpherwiththedifficultmathproblemsafterclass,ImyselfwasoccupiedbysomanyotherthingseverydayafterschoolIneededtogototheEnglishtrainingclub,andduringtheweekendmymotherhadarrangedthecookingclass,computerskill-trainingclassandsoon,becauseshethoughtitwouldbebetterformeifIcouldbemoreversatile.Buthowaboutthesituationinthepast?Accordingtomymom,whentheywereatschool,thecompetitionwasnotreallysofierce,sostudentswerenotrequiredtobeengagedinsomanyextracurricularactivitiestosharpentheircompetitiveedge.Withmorefreetime,ofcoursetheycouldcaremoreaboutsomeoneelseotherthanthemselves.第18页Second,theprevalenceoftheInternetisalsoareasonwhyyoungpeopletodayarelesslikelytohelpothers.Whyisthisso?TodayadolescentsspendsomuchtimesearchingandreceivinginformationontheInternet,andsomeoftheinformationisnotonlywidelyspreadbutalsoprofoundlyinfluentialtoyoungsters.Forexample,3yearsagothispieceofnewswasalltherageonline:anoldgrannyfelldownwhenshewascrossingtheroad.Aniceyoungmansawherfalling,rantowardsherandtriedtopullherup.However,thegrannyrefusedhimandcriedoutallofasudden,claimingthatitwasthisyoungmanwhopushedherdown.Sheevenaskedforacompensationof1,000yuanfromtheman.AfterthisnewswasreleasedontheInternet,therewasaheateddiscussiononline,andthemajorityoftheyoungstersagreedthat“nowthatbeinggoodisnotappreciatedandrewarded,Iwouldratherbeaby-passer.”Asyoucansee,withmoreofthenegativeeventstakingplaceeveryday,andwiththerapidspreadofthenegativenews,youngpeoplearelessboldtooffertheirhelptothosewhoareinneed.Myideaisthusquiteclearthattheyoungsterstodayarelessfriendlythantheyoungpeopleinthepast.第19页BUT THERE ARE OTHERWAYS第20页Therearecertainconsiderationsorfactorsthateveryonetakesintoaccountinarelationship.Peoplemaylookforhonesty,altruism,understanding,loyalty,beingthoughtfuletc!Everyonewouldmoreorlesswishthatthepersonsheisdealingwithhassomeofthesevirtuesabove.Puttingtheminanorderaccordingtotheirimportance,however,canbeverysubjectiveandrelative.Whensomeoneaskshim/herselfthequestion“WhatdoIconsidertobethemostimportantthinginmyrelationship?”theanswerdependsonalotoffactorssuchashowhis/herearlierrelationshipswere.Afterstatingthateveryonesopinioncanbedifferentaboutthis,formehonesty,inotherwords,alwaystellingthetruthisthemostimportantconsiderationinarelationship.Oppositeofthisisinarguablylyingandifsomeoneneedstolie,eithers/heishidingsomethingorisafraidoftellingmesomething.第21页Inanyrelationshipofmine,Iwouldwishthatfirstofall,thepersonImdealingwithishonest.Eventhoughs/hethinksthats/hedidsomethingwrongthatIwouldntlike,s/hedbettertellmethetruthandnotlieaboutit.LateronifIfindoutaboutalieorhearthetruthfromsomeoneelse,thatdbemuchmoreunpleasant.InthatcasehowcanIeverbelieveortrustthatpersonagain?HowcanIeverbelievethatthispersonhasenoughconfidenceinmetoforgivehim/herandcarryonwiththerelationshipfromthere?SoifIcannottrustapersonanymore,ifthepersondoesntthinkIcanhandlethetruth,theresnopointcontinuingthatrelationship.AlthoughIwouldliketoseealtruistic,understanding,thoughtfulandloyalbehaviorfrompeople,aninstanceoftheoppositeofthesebehaviorswouldnotupsetmeasmuchasdishonestywould.Amongallthepossiblebehaviors,dishonestyistheonlyoneformethatterminateshowIfeelaboutapersonsreliability.Thereforehonestywouldbemyfirstconcernandthemostimportantconsiderationinarelationship第22页Inthisresponsethewriterfirstapproachesthetopicbyunderscoringthatanumberofcharactertraitsareimportanttoarelationship.Thewritertheneffectivelydevelopsanargumentthatunlikeothernegativebehaviors,dishonestyorunwillingnesstofullydisclosesomebadactioncannotbeforgivenandcanbethemostimportantfactorindestroyingarelationship.Thewriterslanguageisfluent,accurate,andvariedenoughtoeffectivelysupporttheprogressionandconnectionofideas.Thereareavarietyofsentencestructures,includingrhetoricalquestions.Theessayisnotmechanicallyperfect,butaslongassucherrorsareoccasional,minor,anddonotinterferewiththereadersunderstanding,anessaylikethisonecanstillearnatopscore.第23页BOOKS/WEBSITES YOU NEED第24页第25页第26页Sports:Beauty:Fitness:Shopping:;;;;officialwebsitesMovies:Tech/Finance/News:;;;Edu:;itunesstorespodcasts第27页第28页SCORE RUBRICS第29页ReadingListeningSpeakingWritingTotalNetherlands25272525103Singapore25262426100Malaysia2123202387HongKong1820202280MainlandChina2119182078Korea2020172077Taiwan1718181972Japan1616151865第30页RawScoreScaleScore5304.75294.5284.25274253.75243.5223.2521320第31页目标综合写作=4独立写作=5第32页格式！每段之间空行每行顶格标点后面空一格手动大写！第33页AmEorBrE?第34页AmEorBrE?AmEApartmentBathroomCornElevatorEraserSoccerHonorGlobalizeCenterBrEFlatToiletMaizeLiftRubberFootballHonourGlobaliseCentre第35页ScoringCriteriaWellDeveloped!WellOrganized!LanguageUse!第36页评分标准准审题逻辑例证词句语法第37页EffectivelyaddressesthetopicandtaskIswellorganizedandwelldeveloped,usingclearlyappropriateexplanations,exemplifications,and/ordetailsDisplaysunity,progression,andcoherenceDisplaysconsistentfacilityintheuseoflanguage,demonstratingsyntacticvariety,appropriatewordchoice,andidiomaticity,thoughitmayhaveminorlexicalorgrammaticalerrors.第38页AVOIDREDUNDANCYInconclusion,althoughIhavetoacceptthatitisimperativethatsomethingbedoneaboutcreatinganewholidayforpeopleandfindtheunderlyingthrustoftheimpliedproposalutterlyconvincing,Icannothelpbutfeelwaryoftakingsuchirrevocablestepsandpersonallyfeelthatamoremeasuredapproachwouldbemorerewarding.第39页LanguageUse&Details“这面包物语香辣肉松面包做早膳是极好，金黄诱人，香溢满堂，若是再配上多一点奶黄酱那便是再好不过了。只是吃多了难免油腻，喉咙稍稍不适。若是配上浓香咖啡一杯，又解腻，又提神，自然不负君恩。”“服务员来杯喝，噎死我了.”第40页每个美国超级英雄装扮都非常有特色。超人很有特色，蝙蝠侠很有特色，蜘蛛侠也很有特色。EveryAmericansuperherohashis/herownstyle,forinstance,Supermanwearstheunderwearout,Batmandresseshatwithears,andSpidermanistotallycoveredasifhewouldnotneedtobreathe.第41页食品有害儿童健康炸条有害炸鸡有害可乐有害Junkfoodisharmfultochildrenshealth.Frenchfrieshavenegativeeffectsonchildrenshealth.Friedchickenunderminestheirhealth.Coco-colatakesatollontheirhealth.第42页食品有害儿童健康炸条有害炸鸡有害可乐有害Junkfoodisharmfultochildrenshealth.Frenchfrieshavenegativeeffectsonchildrenshealth.Friedchickenunderminestheirhealth.Coco-colatakesatollontheirhealth.第43页Junkfoodisharmfultochildrenshealth.FrenchFrieshavetoomuchoil,whichcausesoverweightamongyoungchildren.Besidestoomuchfat,friedchickenscontainvariouschemicalstoaddflavorandcolororpreventthefoodfromgoingbad.Thesechemicalscanincreasetherisksofvariousdiseases,suchascancer.AndCoca-Coladecreaseschildrensappetiteforregularmeals,causinglackofmineralsandvitaminsintheirbodies.Anotherproblemwithcokesisthattheyhavesugar,whichcauseschildrensteethtodecay.第44页语言内容第45页语言表示一定要清楚只考查语言水平，不考查思想水平第46页内容内容和语言同等主要逻辑错误比语言错误更严重第47页逻辑奥巴马很有魅力。凤姐出了场车祸。凤姐在美国。奥巴马是美国总统。凤姐长得丑。凤姐出生在重庆。凤姐有没有语伦比自信。凤姐喜欢奥巴马。凤姐即使长得丑-这是能够了解，因为18岁那年她出了场车祸，头被车夹了一下，但她却有着无语伦比自信。这是因为她在美国公然发表申明向美国总统奥巴马-一个非常有魅力男人-求爱。第48页多阅读各类英文文章看范文仿写精写限时写作第49页Inthepastquartercenturytherehavebeenmanyattemptstouseintimidationtosilencesatireanddissent.TheIranianregimesettheprecedentwhenitissuedafatwaagainsttheauthorSalmanRushdieinresponsetohisbookTheSatanicVerses.NorthKoreausedcyberviolencetopreventthedistributionofanunflatteringfilmaboutitsleaderKimJongUn.NowwehavetheappallingspectacleinParis.Theresponseofthefreeworldtothismustbeunwavering.CharlieHebdomaybeaverydifferentpublicationtoourown,butthecourageofitsjournalists-andtheirrighttopublish-cannotbeplacedindoubt.Afreepressisworthnothingifitspractitionersdonotfeelfreetospeak.第50页头段第51页写什么怎么写第52页模板？Agreatvarietyofpeopleconcentratemoretimeonstayingwithfamilyandfriends.Thereexiststheendlessdiscussionaboutwhetherpeoplelikechoicethejobthatcanpayhighsalariesbutrequireemployeestoleavetheirfamilyandfriends.Inmyopinion,Iprefertochoicethejobthatpaysalowersalarybutallowemployeestostaywiththeirfamilyandfriends.Agreatvarietyofpeopleconcentratemoretimeonwhatabilityisimportantforthejob.Thereexiststheendlessdiscussionaboutwhethertheabilitytoadapttonewworkenvironmentsisasimportantasahighdegreeofexcellentknowledgeforthejob.Inmyopinion,theseabilitiesarebothimportantforthejob.第53页模板？Agreatvarietyofpeopleconcentratemoretimeonstayingwithfamilyandfriends.Thereexiststheendlessdiscussionaboutwhetherpeoplelikechoicethejobthatcanpayhighsalariesbutrequireemployeestoleavetheirfamilyandfriends.Inmyopinion,Iprefertochoicethejobthatpaysalowersalarybutallowemployeestostaywiththeirfamilyandfriends.Agreatvarietyofpeopleconcentratemoretimeonwhatabilityisimportantforthejob.Thereexiststheendlessdiscussionaboutwhethertheabilitytoadapttonewworkenvironmentsisasimportantasahighdegreeofexcellentknowledgeforthejob.Inmyopinion,theseabilitiesarebothimportantforthejob.第54页头段说什么？有什么说什么你同不一样意凤姐值得娶第55页Intro：个人认为，男人都应该娶凤姐为妻，这是因为凤姐很勇敢，而且很独立。凤姐非常勇敢，即使长得丑，但从不在意别人看法，还在微博电视节目上极其活跃表示意见以及批判那些嘲笑她人。凤姐很独立，现在凤姐凭一己之力取得了美国绿卡而且还在在纽约当上了洗脚妹，用双手养活自己。Conclusion凤姐值得娶第56页方式一：个人观点+解释原因与主体段分论点一一对应。第57页类1.年轻人应该在决定长久工作之前尝试不一样工作。2.后，学生不再见用纸质书了。第58页Youngpeopleshouldtakeseveraldifferentkindsofjobsbeforetheydecidewhichcareertotakeinthelongterm.personally_,beforetheultimatedecisionofwhattodoasacareerfortherestoftheirlife,peopleintheir20sneedtotrydifferentjobs,becauseof_of skills they _,the combination will learn_circle,andofcoursethefinalawarenessofthedestineddomain.the enlarged social第59页In20yearsfromnow,studentswillnotusetheprintedbooksanymore._,evenifweareinthe2030swhenthehightechnologyisalltherage,theprintedmaterialsnotonlytextbooksbutalsocomicandentertainingbookswillstillcompanystudents,becauseofthe_,learningatmospherealongwiththepaperbooks.In my opinionhigh efficiencythe_convenience_,andthesheerextraordinary第60页同义转述（paraphrasing)同义改写（同义词或近义词替换原有表述）改变语序详细化第61页语言：表示个人观点：personally,inmyview,inmyopinion,Ibelieve,asfarasIamconcerned，Iaminfavoroftheideathat,Iholdwiththeideathat,Igoalongwiththeideathat表原因：dueto(+名词）;becauseof（名词）,since,because,as（句子）干劲有力，原因采取排比方式。第62页PracticeDoyouagreeordisagreeItisbettertochooseafriendwithwhomyoucanhavefunthantochooseafriendthatwillhelpyouwhenyouareinneed.第63页同不一样意TaylorSwift是一个slut。很绿茶很很多人认为TS是一个slut，不过我以为纯洁。烂第64页头段方式二：反方观点+解释+自己观点第65页注意：原因是客观事实尽可能详细第66页很多人认为TS是一个slut，因为媒体曝光了很多男朋友，小到15岁大到35岁，不过我认为她依然是纯洁小龙女般女孩儿。第67页拥有广泛知识比拥有专业知识好。科技让人们生活更简单而不是更杂。第68页语言：1.提出反方观点：someoneargues/advocates/contendsthat；Iconcedethat2.因果系表示：Adv.:therefore,hence,consequently,asaresult；句型：thereasonwhyisthat；3.转折：however,nevertheless,evenso,despitethat第69页Havingbroadknowledgeinmanyacademicsubjectsisbetterthanhavingspecializedknowledgeinaspecificsubject.Technologymakespeopleslifesimplerratherthanmorecomplicated.第70页现在人比过去人更轻易接收教育。第71页头段方式三：背景头个人观点第72页语言：社会现象：itisacommonphenomenonthatItisnotraretoseethatItisawidespreadphenomenonthat趋势：moreandmore,as;withThereisagrowingtendencythat第73页注意：（1）背景介绍可中立，可宏观，但背景不能和观点负相。（2）背景之后可加入反方观点（不推荐）第74页Peoplecouldbecomeeducatednowmoreeasilythanpeoplecouldinthepast.Intwentyyearstime,peoplewillleadamoreleisurelylife.Teachersshouldassignhomeworkforstudentseveryday.第75页总结：头方式一：个人观点解释头方式二：反方观点解释自己观点头方式三：背景（社会现象，趋势，定义）自己观点第76页段内展第77页主体段基本结构一：主体段=主题句+说理+例证+小结第78页Grouptoursplantravelersentireitineraries.Becausetheirtriphasalreadybeenarranged,peopledonothavetoworryaboutwheretheyaregoingorhowtheyaregettingthere.Theycansimplyrelax,enjoytheirtrip,andnotgetstressedoutaboutanything.Forexample,myfamilyoncetookapackagetourtoChina.Thetravelagencyarrangedeverything.Ittookcareofthehotelreservations,transportation,andsightseeing.Myfamilydidnothavetoworryaboutanything.Wejustlookedattheschedulethetravelagencyhadprovidedandfollowedit.Thankstothetravelagency,wecouldjustrelaxandenjoyourentiretrip.Thismadethingseasierespeciallyformyfathersincehedidnothavetoworryeverysingleminuteaboutwherewewouldgonext.Allinall,wehadagreattrip.Grouptourstaketheanxietyofdailyplanningoutoftravelingandlettravelersenjoytheirvacationswithoutanystress.第79页Grouptoursplantravelersentireitineraries.Becausetheirtriphasalreadybeenarranged,peopledonothavetoworryaboutwheretheyaregoingorhowtheyaregettingthere.Theycansimplyrelax,enjoytheirtrip,andnotgetstressedoutaboutanything.Forexample,myfamilyoncetookapackagetourtoChina.Thetravelagencyarrangedeverything.Ittookcareofthehotelreservations,transportation,andsightseeing.Myfamilydidnothavetoworryaboutanything.Wejustlookedattheschedulethetravelagencyhadprovidedandfollowedit.Thankstothetravelagency,wecouldjustrelaxandenjoyourentiretrip.Thismadethingseasieronmyfathersincehedidnothavetoworryeverysingleminuteaboutwherewewouldgonext.Allinall,wehadagreattrip.Grouptourstaketheanxietyofdailyplanningoutoftravelingandlettravelersenjoytheirvacationswithoutanystress.第80页家长和孩子在感情方面太过亲近。Parentsmaybetooclosetotheirchildrenemotionally.Forexample,theymaylimitachildsfreedominthenameofsafety.Ateachermayorganizeaneducationaltriptoabigcity,butaparentmaythinkthistripistoodangerous.Aschoolmaywanttotakethechildrencamping,butaparentmaybeafraidofthechildgettinghurt.主体段=主题句+纯例证+小结第81页当今人们比过去变得愈加以自我为中心了。Todayssocialrealityhasmadepeoplebecomefarmoreself-centeredthanpreviousgenerations.Normally,onescircleofcontactstendstofocusmoreonthosewhoareusefultosatisfytheirpersonalinterests.Attentionisgraduallydivertedfromfamilyrelationshipstowardrecreationandorganizationofprofitgroups.Suchanabruptchangeinpeoplesvalueshadindeedresultedintheirgrowingindifferencetotheirrelationshipswithfamilymembers.主体段=主题句+纯说理+小结第82页练习宠物有利于培孩子责任感。第83页二、怎样说理？改进公共交通有利于提升空气质量。花钱做广告能帮助一个企业增加利润。第84页问：老李去哪了？答：今天是周末啊。问：今天学校怎么那么洁净？答：因为领导来检验了。第85页说理需要stepbystep,一环扣一环改进公共交通有利于提升空气质量。花钱做广告能帮助一个企业增加利润。用自己知识处理问题是进行自我提升好机会年长朋友能帮助我们成长。第86页因果系：1）副词Hence,thus,thereforeAsaconsequence,asaresult,consequently2）非限制性定语从句3）状语从句:because,since,if4)特殊句型The比较级the比较级第87页从书本中学习知识时，我们学习效率更高。第88页书本-权威性-正知识-防止弯路-效率高书本-系统性-连贯学习知识-全方面了解-效率高第89页练习：阔视在不一样地方生活能让年轻人丰富经历和野。第90页Livinginanewplaceenrichesyoungpeoplewithlifeexperiencesandalsobroadensth