大学英语六级写作经典范文及点评.pdf

大学英语六级写作经典范文及点评大学生自我创业已经不是一个新鲜的话题了。那么自我创业有何利，又有何弊呢？看过本文之后你就知道了。或许这对面临毕业的你还是个不小的帮助呢！Self employmentSelf employment could bring many advantages.One of the advantages of be i ng se I f-emp I oyed i s that the prof i t the bus i ness makes be I ongs to the owner.If the self-employed person succeeds in business,he has the chance to earn a great deal of money.The profit earned is the reward for the owner s effort,ability and creativity.Thus,a second advantage is that a person s intelligence and abilities have a direct effect on the earnings.A third advantage of being self-employed is that a person can control his working hours.While not al I self-employed people are completely free,most of them have more control over this area than the salaried people.However,be i ng se I f-emp I oyed i s not wi thout prob I ems.First,being one s own boss places the responsibility directly on that individual shoulders.Everyone has some weaknesses in a certain aspects.These weaknesses will affect how successful a self-employed person is.Second,though the self-employed can earn considerable profits with a successful business,Iosses can force them out of bus i ness and somet imes,pI ace them i n debt.A third disadvantage concerns income security.Self-employed people have no guaranteed wage.Their earnings can vary greatly,depending on business conditions.Salaried people,however,can generally count on continued earnings.In addition,salaried people often enjoy fringe benefits that mean greater peace of mind.One of these benefits may be insurance paid for by the employer that continues the employee s salary in the event of sickness or accident while many self-employed people do not have such protection.1253 words行文点评文章结构简单明了。第一段阐述了自我创业的3个好处。第二段分析了自我创 业所存在的问题。两段中“first,second,third”的使用，不仅使文章在句式上显得条理分明，更在内容上体现了连贯性。好文妙译自我创业自我创业的好处之一是商业利润归创业者所有。如果创业者生意成功，他有可 能挣很多钱。这些利润是对创业者努力、能力和创造力的回报。因此，自我创业的 第二个好处是一个人的才智和能力直接反映在收入上。自我创业的第三个优势是自 己做老板能够支配自己的工作时间。虽然不是所有的创业者都有完全的自由，但是 相对于工薪族来说，他们大多数人在这方面拥有更多的自主权。2但是，自我创业并不是一帆风顺的事。首先，做自己的老板把责任直接放到了 个人的肩上。每个人在某些方面都会有一些弱点，而这些弱点会对创业者的成功产 生影响。其次，自己做老板时，虽然生意成功会带来很大的盈利，但是一旦失败就 可能造成破产，有时甚至会负债累累。第三个弊端涉及收入的稳定性。创业者没有 稳定的工资。依据生意的状况，他们的收入浮动很大。而工薪族通常可以依靠持续 稳定的工资。此外，他们通常可以享受着额外福利，这意味着他们的心态可以更加 的平和。其中一项福利就是由雇主为雇员支付保险，以保障他们在生病或遇到意外 的情况下还能继续领到工资。相比之下，很多创业者就没有这种保障了。词汇斟酌in debt 负债count on 指望，依靠fringe a.附加的，额外的；边缘的佳句临摹【注释】in the event of sth 万；倘若【临摹】In the event of his death Shelia will inherit the money.一旦 他故去，希拉就会继承这笔钱。思如泉涌Something attempted,something done.有尝试就会有收获。Actions speak louder than words.彳亍动月生于语言。有些人并非特别聪明，却能得到大家的认可和支持。我们说这些人有个人魅力。个 人魅力不仅源于聪明、诚实等优秀品质，还源于与他人交往时的态度和技巧。Communicating a Sense of Personal Power3Communicating a sense of personal power comes from a belief that you can reach your goals in your own way.Powerful people give others power and encourage others to express themselves openly.You communicate a sense of personal power by developing these traits:Author i tyAuthority is inner confidence a trust in your skills and abilities.It comes from the inside,from an attitude of“I can do that”.I deserve success”.This attitude radiates outward as you assert your right,honestly ask for what you want and need,and develop a wi I I ingness to give to others and yourself.Being self-assuredSelf-assured behavior is active,direct,and honest.It communicates an impression of self-respect and respect for others.By being self-assured,we v i ew our wants,needs,and r i ghts as equa I w i th those of others.A se I f-assured person wins by influencing,listening,and negotiating so that other people choose to cooperate wi I I ingly.Access i b i I i tyThe powerful person is a master net worker.Good networking increases your vi s i bi I i ty and gi ves you a vaIuabIe circle of peopIe from whom you can give and receive support and information.Imagine yourself as the center of a wheel surrounded by spokes of contacts.Image4You communicate power through your image.Do you project an image cons i stent w i th strong I eadersh i p？Stand ta II and wa I k proud I y,remember i ng that you have value as a person.When you meet others,make direct contact and keep your handshake firm and friendly.Clearly state who you are and what you do.Communication habitsTake a deep breath to project a firm voice.Avoid slang,and jargon,and vocal hesitations that can hinder effective communication.Use only the body movements and gestures necessary to make your point,no more.Learn how to write clearly and concisely.1312 words行文点评文章是总分结构。第一段先说明发挥你的个人魅力的信念来源：你可以用自己 的方式实现自己的目标。接着作者从五个方面介绍个人魅力的通常表现，每个方面 作者都指明了它对发挥个人魅力的重要性，以及如何做到这一点。好文妙译以个人魅力交流5发挥你的个人魅力来源于这样一个信念：即你可以用自己的方式实现自己的目标。有影响力的人赋予他人力量并鼓励他人公开表述自己的意见。发挥个人魅力通常体 现在以下几个方面：威信威信是内在的信心，即坚信自己的技能和能力。它来自于内心，来自于“我能 做好那件事”、“我会成功”的态度。当你维护你的权利，真诚地去寻求你的所需 所想，并愿意为他人和自己做出奉献的时候，这种态度就会外露出来。自信自信表现为积极、直率和诚实。它表达了一种自尊和尊重他人的意愿。通过自 信，我们视自己的需求和权利与他人的需要和权利是平等的。一个自信的人通过影 响、倾听与讨论来赢取他人自愿的合作。亲和力一个有影响力的人是人际交往的大师。良好的人际交往会使你为人所知，使你 周围有一个高层次的人际关系网，从他们那里你可以给予或获得支持与信息。把你 自己想象成轮轴，周围由关系的辐条环绕。形象你可以通过你的形象来施加影响力。你想象过自己具有极强的领导能力的形象 吗?站直，昂首挺胸地前进，记住，作为一个人你自身具有价值。当你与他人会面时,要直接接触，友好而有力地握手。清楚地表达你是谁，是做什么的。交流习惯深吸一口气，说出坚定的话语，避免使用俚语、行话，说话不要吞吞吐吐，否 则会影响有效的交流。在必要时使用身体语言和手势，多则无益。要学会如何用笔 头清晰而简洁地表达自己的思想感情。6词汇斟酌trait n.显著的特点，特性authority n.权威，威信，权威人士radiate vt.放射，辐射，传播assert v.断言，声称negotiate v.（与某人）商议，谈判，磋商,accessibility n.易寸妾近，可至达spoke n.辐条slang n.俚语jargon n.行话佳句临摹【注释】be consistent with一致，相符【临摹】What you said now is not consistent with what you said last week.你现在说的话与你上星期说的话不相符。思如泉涌As a man s heart is,so does he speak.言为心声。A great talker is a great liar.最会饶舌的人也是最会说谎的人。很多人都认为那些身处象牙塔的大学生们过得很安逸，其实不然。他们每天也要面 临着很多压力：高额学费带来的经济压力，父母要求过高所带来的精神压力College PressureI see two kinds of pressure working on college students today:economic pressure,parental pressure.It is easy to look around for rebels to blame 7the colleges for charging too much money,the parents for pushing them too far.But there are no rebels,only victims.The pressure is heavy on students who just want to graduate and get a job.If I were an employer I would rather employ graduates who have this range and curiosity than those who narrowly pursued safe subjects and high grades.I know incalculable students whose inquiring minds cheer me.I I i ke to hear the play of thei r ideas.I don t know if they are gett ing A or C,and I don t care.I also like them as people.The country needs them,and they will find satisfying jobs.I tell them to relax,but they can t.Nor can I blame them.They live in a brutal economy.Today it is not unusual for a student,even if he works part time at college and full time during the summer,to increase to 5,000 in loans after graduation.Encouraged at commencement to go forth i nto the wor Id,he i s a I ready beh i nd as he goes forth.How could he not feel under pressure throughout college to prepare for this day of reckoning？AI ong wi th econom i c pressure goes parenta I pressure.Inevitably,the two are deeply integrated.Poor students!They are caught in one of the oldest webs of love and duty and guilt.The parents mean well:they are trying to steer their sons and daughters toward a secure future.But the sons and daughters want to major in history or classics or philosophysubjects with no“practical“value.Where s the payoff on the humanities?It s not easy to persuade such loving parents that the human i t i es do i ndeed pay off.The i nteI IectuaI facu11 i es 8developed by studying subjects like history and classics are just the faculties that make creative leaders in business or almost any general field.Luckily for me,most of them got into their field by an indirect route,to their surprise,after many roundabout ways.They can hardly conceive of a career that was not preplanned.They can hardly imagine allowing the hand of God or chance to nudge them down some unforeseen trail.1391 words行文点评本文脉络清晰。第一段第一句直接点题，提出大学生面临的两种压力：economic pressure 和 parenta I pressure。段末“victims”一词的运用，奠定了本文的感情 基调：作者对大学生担负的压力感到同情。第二段和第三段中分析了大学生在经济上面临压力的原因。第四段是过渡段。第五段阐述了父母的压力对大学生的影响，用一个感叹句开头，具有烘托感情的效 果，充分表达了作者对大学生的同情。最后一段排比句的应用从相反的方面描述，更 把大学生所遭受的压力凸显出来。好文妙译大学生的压力我发觉今天的大学生有两种压力：经济压力和来自父母的压力。环顾四周，你 很容易发现一些叛逆者，他们指责学校收费太高，报怨父母对他们的要求过高。但 他们不是叛逆者，而是受害者。对于那些只想从大学毕业并且找到一个工作的人来说，压力是很大的。如果我 是雇主，我宁愿雇佣那些有好奇心的博学之才而不是那些只选一些容易过的且能达 高分的课程的学生。我认识无数学生，他们的好奇之心使我兴奋不已。我喜欢听他 9们阐述自己的观点。我不知道他们得的是A还是G我不在乎这些。我也同样喜欢他 们所散发出来的人性魅力。国家需要他们，他们也会找到自己满意的工作。我告诉 他们要放松，但他们做不到。但我也不能责怪他们，因为他们生活在残酷的经济时代。今天对一个学生来说,即使他在念书时兼职打工，在暑假全职工作，在毕业后欠下5000美元的债务也是很 平常的。在毕业典礼上他们被告知即将踏入社会，而事实上，在踏入社会之际他已 落后于他人了。为了面对这个清算日，他们在大学生活中怎会感受不到压力呢?与经济压力同时存在的还有来自父母的压力，这两者不可避免地融合在一起。可怜的学生们！他们被古老的爱、责任、负疚感所包围。父母们本意是好的他 们正把自己的儿女引向一个安全的未来。但这些孩子却想主修历史、古典文学、哲 学这些没有“现实”价值的专业。学人文科学的报偿在何处呢?要说服父母相信人文 科学有所报偿并不容易。由学习历史和古典文学所培养出来的能力正是商业及其他 一般领域有创造力的领导人所必备的能力。幸运的是，许多学生几经曲折终于到达他们自己的领域，对此他们感到吃惊。因为他们很难想象可以从事一项未经事先计划的事业，很难想象上帝之手或者机缘 能把他们推到未曾预见到的人生轨道上来。词汇斟酌rebel n.反叛分子，反对者victim n.牺牲品，受害者curiosity n.女子奇（心）brutala.残忍的，无情的，冷酷的commencement n.开始毕业典礼，学彳立授予典礼reckoning n.结算，清算 10inevitably ad.不可避免地steer vt.弓I导faculty n.能力，技能，天赋 roundabout a.绕道的，绕圈子的 conceive vi.(of)构想出，设想 nudge vt.用肘轻推，推进 佳句临摹【注】洋】a day of reckoning 得至ll惩罚的日子【临摹】You re enjoying yourself now,but a day of reckoning wi I I come.别看你现在逍遥，将来会遭报应的。思如泉涌No sweet without sweat.先苦后舌甘。Pain past is pleasure.过去的痛苦就是，快乐。我们或许不能像伟人那样超凡脱俗，但可以时时借助幽默来使自己开心，使自己超 脱尘世的种种烦恼。漫画就是这样的一种幽默形式。Art and HumorMillions of people struggle out of bed each morning,fumble into some clothes,and make their way to a cup of coffee and the morning newspaper.They need something cheerful to remind them that the rest of the day will be less difficult than getting up.This need may be the reason that many of them turn their half-opened eyes to the comics section of the newspaper as they sip their first cups of coffee of the day.Cartoons ref Iect the t i mes and the troubIes and worr i es of peopIe.They 11give people an opportunity to laugh at themselves and at familiar situations.For example,a cartoon might say that the government of a country is responsible for the bad economy and also show the government leaders as a group of ridiculous people.Being able to use the leaders as scapegoats and to I augh at the I eaders somehow makes peop I e fee I better about the i r s i tuat i on.Cartoons also make people laugh at their own personal worries.Young people who are not always sure of how to act can smi Ie at their awkwardness.Old people whose grown children pay I ittle attention to them can chuckle at their neglect and loneliness.Students who have studied too little before an examination can laugh at their anxiety.Everyone s problems are made bigger-than-life in the comics.Perhaps the problems seem funny because there is humor in something that is real being made unreal.A cartoon combines art and humor.When it is ski IIfully done,a simple I ine drawing and a few words can make people laugh.Their troubles seem less important,and they enjoy life more fully.276 words行文点评这篇文章结构比较清晰。第一段提出观点：漫画可以令人快乐，作者用了 strugg I e out of bed,fumble i nto some c I othes,形象地展示了一个大多数读者都非常熟悉的生活场景。第二、三段从公众和个人的 角度说明，漫画反映人们的时代和生活特点；每段的第一句话都是主题句(topic sentence),即每一段都在第一句提出这一段的分论点，再对其加以论证。第四段总结全文，点明文章的主题。12文中排比句的运用，比如第三段中对不同类型人的笑的描述Young peopleOld people Students，也值得读者在写作中借鉴。好文妙译艺术与幽默每天清晨，成千上万的人不情愿地起床，摸索着穿上衣服，然后喝咖啡，看早 报。他们需要一些令人高兴的事情来提醒自己一天中剩余的时间将不会像起床那样 难受。这就是为什么他们会在喝一天中的第一杯咖啡时将惺怯的睡眼投向报纸上的 连环漫画专栏的原因。漫画反映一个时代，也反映人们的问题和烦恼。它给了人们一个自我解嘲的机 会，让人们对他们熟悉的事情发笑。例如，某幅漫画会把经济不景气归咎于一个国 家的政府，但也会把政府领导人画成一群可笑的人。把领导人当成替罪羊来加以嘲 讽，在某种程度上这会让人们对自己的处境感觉好一点。漫画也使人们对个人烦恼付之一笑。年轻人不知所措时可以对困境微微一笑。被成年子女冷落的老人可以对自己被人遗忘、孤独的境地轻轻苦笑。而“平时不烧 香，临时抱佛脚”的学生也可以对考试前的焦虑笑一笑。连环画把人们的问题夸张 地表现出来。也许那些问题看上去很可笑，这是因为当真实的事物被夸大到不真实 的程度时，本身就产生了幽默。漫画结合了艺术和幽默。巧妙地画几笔简单的线条，写几句简洁的话就能让人 开怀大笑。人们的烦心事看上去不再那么重要了，而人们也能够更充分地享受生活。词汇斟酌fumble v.笨拙地做，摸索comic n.连环画页，连环漫画sip v.呷，啜13ridiculous a.荒谬的，可笑的scapegoat n.替罪羊awkwardness n.笨拙，不雅观chuckle vi.吃吃的笑，咯咯叫佳句临摹【角翠析】make one s way(to/toward sth)向，,前进【临摹】I II make my way home now.我现在要回家了。思如泉涌It is a great art to laugh at your own misfortune.对己之不幸付之一笑,这是一门伟大的艺术。Art lies in concealing art.隐而不露即艺术。出国留学也许是很多学生梦寐以求的事情。很多家长也愿意让孩子出国去“镀金”，或丰富人生经历。但或许他们没有想到过留学在外也会面临着一些潜在的危险。Studying OverseasStudy overseas can be the adventure of a lifetime,and the majority of these experiences are healthy and safe.But,unless some simple precautions are taken,a young person living without a parent in a foreign country can encounter cuIturaI disorientation and rea I,physical dangers.While auto and motorcycle accidents are a primary cause for concern,there are a host of other factors that need to be considered，preferably,well in advance of a student s departure.There are the familiar ri sks of unsafe sex and ill ega I drugs.No d i ff erent from home,you say?T rave I i ng students and the i r parents often don t rea I i ze 14how cultural and legal d i fferences can enhance these“r i sk factors.Simply put,what is safe or tolerated behavior in the United States can be interpreted quite differently in a foreign country.In a strange place with new rules,even responsible teenagers may occasionally“lose their heads“and take chances that they wouldn t norma II y take,I i ke trave I i ng unaccompan i ed to a strange country,not telling anyone where they are,or buying or selling on the black market.As a result,young travelers can easily find themselves in the wrong place at the wrong time.Still,college students often reason that“horror stories“about i ncarcerated Amer i cans overseas“will never happen to me!”I n h i s MP art i c I e Legal Rights of Travelers,international law expert Jeffrey R.Miller describes some of the penalties facing the errant traveler.These can be extreme by American standards.However,safety is indeed everyone s responsibility.The school program,the parents and the student all need to take part.Avoid potentially troublesome situations because as a foreigner you are more vulnerable.Be more caut i ous than at home.Here s an obv i ous but critically i mportant safety rule:Always let someone know where you are and never travel alone.298 words行文点评文章第一段便指出，出国留学除了考虑健康和人身安全之外，还要考虑到更多 其他的因素。第二段指出最常见的安全隐患。第三段指出陌生环境下孩子们可能的 15反常行为。第四段指出孩子们对安全问题掉以轻心的态度。第五段总结全文，并提 出了一些安全建议。本文语句十分地道，句式多样。段落之间存在的一些具有连接功能的词语，如 still,however 等，让文章连贯1性更弓虽。好文妙译留学在外我们将出国留学看作是生命中的一次冒险。在留学过程中，最需要考虑的是你 的健康和人身安全。除非你预先做一些安排，否则的话，一个年少的孩子生活在远 离父母的异地他乡，可能会面临一些文化困扰，或者某种真正的、伤及人身的危险。尤其是由汽车或者摩托车而造成的事故。另外我们最好在孩子临行之前，预先考虑 到更多其他的因素。其中最常见的就是被视为洪水猛兽的性和毒品问题了。你认为这和你在国内没 有什么不同吗？留学生和他们的父母并没有认识到这种文化和法律的差异会加剧这 类冒险因素。简单地说，美国人眼中所谓的安全或者可容忍的行为，在别的国家里 却可能不是。在一个规矩完全不同的陌生地方，即便是一个很有责任感的孩子也会偶尔迷失 自己，会做出一些违反常理的事情。比如说孤身去一个陌生的城市旅行，不告诉其 他人自己在哪儿，或者出入于黑市做些买卖。结果，这些年轻的游子们经常会发现 自己不合时宜地出现在不该出现的地方。然而，大学生们却常常认为那些监禁海外美国人的恐怖故事永远都不会发生在 自己身上。国际法专家Jeffrey R.Mi I ler在他呈交给议会的论文旅游者的合法 权益中指出，应对那些行踪不定的旅行者加以某种惩罚。在美国人眼里，这样做 是有点过分了。16然而，保障自身安全是每个人的责任。学校里有些课程是要求学生及其家长一 起参加的。因为作为一个外国人，你会更加容易受伤害。所以一定要比在国内更小 心，尽量不要找麻烦。还有一条简单却极为重要的规律：无论你去哪儿，一定要让 别人知道；千万不要单独外出旅行。词汇斟酌precaution n.预防，防备，警1惕encounter vt.遇见，遭遇d i sori entat i on n.迷失interpret vt.角星释，诠释incarcerate v.将某人监禁penalty n.角虫发，惩罚errant a.为冒险而周游的vulnerable a.易受伤害的佳句临摹【注释】a host of sb/sth 大群，众多，许多（人或事物）【临摹】I can t come,for a whole host of reasons.由于种种原因，我来 不了。【注释】in advance of sth 预先;事前【临摹】Ga I i I eo s i deas were well in advance of the age