英语趣味小故事.doc

One day，a little monkey is playing by the well。　
He looks in the well and shouts　：　
“Oh！My god！The moon has fallen into the well！”　
An older monkeys runs over，takes a look，and says，　
“Goodness me！The moon is really in the water！”　
And olderly monkey es over。　
He is very surprised as well and cries out：　
“The moon is in the well。”　
A group of monkeys run over to the well。　
They look at the moon in the well and shout：　
“The moon did fall into the well！e on！Let’get it out！”　
Then，the oldest monkey hangs on the tree up side down,with his feet on the branch　。　
And he pulls the next monkey’s feet with his hands。　
All the other monkeys follow his suit，　
And they join each other one by one down to the moon in the well。　
Just before they reach the moon the oldest monkey raises his head and happens to see the moon in the sky，　
He yells excitedly　“Don’t be so foolish！The moon is still in the sky！”　

A woman was having lunch at a restaurant, and she was enjoying the food very much. But there was a man in the next seat, and he began looking at the floor near her. The woman was angry and asked,“What are you looking for, sir?”
“A piece of cake,” the man said to her, “My cake fell to the floor. ”
“A piece of cake?” the woman said angrily, “It’s dirty now! Take this, and go back to your seat! I’m having lunch now. ” The woman gave the man a big piece of cake.
“But,” the man said, “My teeth are in the piece of cake on the floor!

　 A Good Boy
Little Tom asked his mother for two yuan.
“What did you do with the money I gave you yesterday ?” his mother asked.
“I gave it to a poor old woman .” he answered .
“You are a good boy. ” said the mother proudly . “ Here are two more yuan , but why are you so interested in the old woman ?”
“ She is the one who sells the candy .”

Where is the father?
Two brothers were looking at some beautiful paintings.
"Look," said the elder brother. "How nice these paintings are!"
　"Yes," said the younger, "but in all these paintings there is only the mother and the children. Where is the father?"
The elder brother thought for a moment and then explained, "Obviously he was painting the pictures."

Mrs. Brown was very fat. Her husband thought she should have a balanced diet, and he made her not eat meat or cakes.
One morning, Mrs. Brown made a nice cake for her husband, and he ate half of it. After he went out, Mrs. Brown cut a very small piece of cake and ate it. It was very delicious. Then she cut another piece and ate it, too. In a few minutes she ate up the cake. “My husband is going to be very angry.” She thought, “What should I do?” She made another cake very quickly, ate half of it, and put the other half on the table. Mr. Brown came back later and when he saw the half of the cake on the table, he was very happy.

　Tom is a little boy, and he is only seven years old. Once he goes to a cinema. It is the first time for him to do that. He buys a ticket and goes in. But after two or three minutes he es out, and buys the second ticket and goes in again. After a few minutes he es out again and buys the third ticket. Two or three minutes after that he es out and asks for another ticket. But a girl asks him,“Why do you buy so many tickets? How many friends do you meet?” “No, I have no friends here, but a big woman always stops me at the door and cuts up my ticket.”
I Wasn't Asleep
　　　When a group of women got on the car, every seat was already occupied. The conductor noticed a man who seemed to be asleep,  and fearing he might miss his stop, he nudged him and said: "Wake up, sir!"
　　　"I wasn't asleep," the man answered.
　　　"Not asleep? But you had your eyes closed."
　　　"I know. I just hate to look at ladies standing up beside me in a crowded car."

Two Holes for the Dogs
My uncle has two dogs. One is big and the other is small. He likes them very much.
One day, Mr. Smith came to visit him. When the friend saw two holes in the door, a large hole and a small hole, he was surprised and said, “My dear friend, why are there two holes in your door?” “Let my dogs e in and e out, of course,” Mr. Smith asked. “But why are there two holes? One is enough!” “But how can the big dog go through the small hole?” my uncle said.
Sometimes a clever man may make such mistakes.

A Silly Man
　　Fred was going to school. When he passed a park, he saw a man sawing a big branch from a tree. The man was on a ladder and the ladder was against the big branch he was sawing. “Hi, it is dangerous.” Fred shouted. “After you cut off the branch, you will fall, too.” But the man didn’t believe him, and said angrily, “Go away, you little thing. It’s none of your business.”
　　Fred could do nothing, so he left. He didn’t go far before he heard something crashed. He rushed back and found the man lying on the ground.
　　Fred asked some men for help. They carried the man to the hospital.

Which Skirt to Wear?
　　Time is 8 years old, and follows her own ideas. When her parents tell her to do something, she always doesn’t do it.
　　Today, she will go to a friend’s birthday party. She is now choosing skirt to wear. She has three skirts: a blue skirt, a white one and a yellow one.
　　She asks her father, “Which one is the best?” her father says, “I think the blue one is the best.” Then she asks her mother, “Which one do you think is the best?” Her mother answers, “ The white one , of course!” Tina says, “Thank you.”
　　Then she puts on the yellow shirt and goes out.

Ivan came home with a bloody nose and his mother asked, "What happened?"
　　"A kid bit me," replied Ivan.
　　"Would you recognize him if you saw him again?" asked his mother.
　　"I'd know him any where," said Ivan. "I have his ear in my pocket."

Peter was a clever boy. On his first day at school, he learned three words: I, You and She. The teacher taught him how to make sentences with those words. The teacher said, I, I am your teacher; (then pointing to a girl) She, She is your classmate; You, You are my student.
When Peter went home, his father asked him what he had learned at school. Peter said at once, I, I am your teacher; (then pointing to his mother) She, She is your classmate; You, You are my student His father got angry and said, I, I am your father; (then pointing to his wife) She, She is your mother; You, You are my son.
The next morning at school, the teacher asked Peter if he had learned the three words by heart. Yes, he said proudly, I, I am your father; (then pointing to a girl) She, She is your mother; You, You are my son.

It was Friday that day. The sun was shinning brightly . Mrs. Zhang went to buy a fish in a fish shop. She didn’t know how to cook it. So she asked the shopkeeper to write down the way of cooking on a piece of paper. Then she put the paper into her pocket and left the shop happily with the fish.
On her way home, a white cat took the fish away from her and ran away at once. Mrs. Zhang ran after the cat but she couldn’t catch it. But suddenly she remembered something and laughed. She shouted to the cat loudly, “You don’t know how to cook the fish. The paper is still in my pocket!”

Teacher: Here are two birds, one is a swallow, the other is sparrow. Now who can tell us which is which?
Student: I cannot point out but I know the answer.
Teacher: Please tell us.
Student: The swallow is beside the sparrow and the sparrow is beside the swallow.

Tom's  excuse

Teacher: Tom, why are you late for school every day?
Tom: Every time I e to the corner, a sign says, "School-Go Slow".
Tom's  excuse

 A Penny and a Second
一便士和一秒钟

A man goes to church and starts talking to God.
He says: "God, what is a million dollars to you?" and God says: "A penny".
Then the man says: "God, what is a million years to you?" and God says: "a second".
Then the man says: "God, can I have a penny?" and God says "In a second".